Friendships and Stuff like that….

Hey Y’all! Yeah I know🫠🫠.

Before you all crucify me😂, life has been showing me flames. I think from June I was just out of it and it required some isolation because that’s really the best way I know how to deal with the stresses of life.

So randomly a former colleague and friend called me today. Honestly, I was shocked or rather wanted to just know what he needed. To just be sure all was well with him. So used to bad news 💀. We don’t talk much and quite frankly we aren’t the closest of friends if you know what I mean. So it kinda made me worried or confused or just a terrible friend🥲.

During the conversation he made it clear he just wanted to check on me. Which I absolutely appreciate. He thought of me for whatever reason and he called. 🙏🏾❤️

We spoke and in that 16mins or so conversation I realised a few things about friendships. It’s so weird but I am glad he called.

He made a statement “people say you are ignoring them” lol first of all I was confused because who are the people. I brushed it off and explained that the past few months haven’t been the easiest for me honestly and it was definitely taking a toll on me. My solution always is to just hibernate and deal with it then pop up later 💀🫠.

In that moment I realised that I was having traits that could make me a not so great friend. Just as much as we take care and communicate in our Romantic relationships especially, why couldn’t I just let my friends know I needed time to deal with personal things that might take me away from socialising. Or give them a chance to be there for me. Friendships shouldn’t be just about the good days right.

I realised also that I am super chilled. If you do something to upset me I will tell you and that’s that. Or if I think of you I reach out. Might not be at a frequency that people expect but also at anytime I am always available to help. But what I learnt it everyone’s friendship language is different and as such might require tailoring. Finding a balance is hard too lol but we try.

While we try to find balance, understanding that each individual is different and will have different ways of how they share and receive love is important. Otherwise you end up with assumptions of false situations that don’t exist.

I know from my experience not to take things personal unless it’s a direct attack. Understand that we all understand things differently and just navigate through that. I definitely learnt from my call with this friend that no one is saying change in an uncomfortable way to accommodate others but when you see something of concern, bring it up and be ready to welcome such discussion from your friends as well.

Side note, some people consider you friends while you just see them as acquaintances and could definitely result in resentment when there is no reciprocity. Me I don’t have advice for you on that, goodluck ironing it out 🤣💀💀.

I will do better in this regard and I hope you do too. Friendship are important for the good days but most especially the not so great days. I will allow my friends love me and be there for me just as I would for them.

I wish you all great, happy, healthy, kind and understanding friendships.

Do you think you can be a better friend?

Share in the comments below.

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With Love,

Òyè