Imposter Syndrome 🥺😕

Hello guys, hope you are well and surviving on the hustle and bustle of adulting.

Until a few years ago, I did not understand why every achievement suddenly felt like a gift or luck. Don’t get me wrong as a Christian, I believe in higher being that helps us succeed. But can we also recognise that if you do not put in the work you do not get to reap miraculous rewards. I put in the work, so why is it so hard to take credit for it or doubt myself?

This is called Imposter Syndrome. Imposter syndrome is loosely defined as doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud. It disproportionately affects high-achieving people, who find it difficult to accept their accomplishments. Many question whether they're deserving of accolades (Source: https://hbr.org/2021/02/stop-telling-women-they-have-imposter-syndrome)

Do you ever feel like this as well? I do and it can make you disregard all the hard work and fights you have had to win to get where you are. I act like it’s a favour sometimes when I get an interview or job or anything really. Failing to see that I am deserving of it all.

This somewhat creates this unhealthy humility/modesty where you cannot confidently take credit when you are being celebrated. I remember recently telling a friend about an audit that was successful. He went straight on to congratulate me and tell me how wonderful this was and how hard he knew I was working. Guess was my responses was 💀💀😂 “yeah not really a big deal” excuse me?!

I was practically working nonstop and almost sick preparing for it but now that it’s done I say this? I think it’s not only disrespectful to myself for the work I put in but in but also to God for disregarding the ability and gift given to me to help me excel. Take the win and celebrate it!

I don’t know where this stems from but damn I know I need to work on it. I think it is also one of the reasons why some think others are arrogant or a show off when they take credit for their work. If you feel that way towards others there might be a chance that you have imposter syndrome hence you cannot recognise the confidence positively.

If we are being honest if it was a bad review or outcome we take full responsibility but why not when we do well? 🥺

Also remember your competitors especially for those in corporate setting, can see this trait and often times will use it against you.

You are applying for a job/contract and you know you have what it takes but because of the self doubt you talk yourself out of it. Then a more confident individual and maybe not even as skilful as you gets the job. You create this vicious cycle of negativity around yourself. Coming up with preconceived stories of "I knew they won't give me anyways", how did you know? Just go for it!

Having people who see your effort and celebrate you often helps and I am grateful for them as they remind me of how awesome I am when I forget. Celebrate every win!

As you start your month, remember you are deserving of everything good and wonderful. You are doing great! This is just the beginning of many great achievements, own it!

Do you struggle with imposter syndrome? How do you manage it?

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Have a lovely Easter break!

With Love,

Oye