Body DysmorphiađŤ
- Oyetola Babarinde
- Dec 11, 2022
- 3 min read
Helllloooooo! Hope you are all well. I am EXTREMELY fatigued. It's been a really exhausting year but I look forward to a few days break this Decemberđđđž.
Let us talk about Body Dysmorphia. Oh this hits home for me because I struggle with this.
What is Body Dysmorphia? Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), or body dysmorphia, is a mental health condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about flaws in their appearance.
This can be severe or mild. It could be anything for different people. For some it's their hair, skin tone, nose shape, body shape, e.t.c.
As I grow, I take time to understand why I feel a certain way about anything. It's my form of self evaluation/awareness I try to practice. This can be hard as you sometimes realise you are the toxic person in your life đđ, story for another day.
I noticed lately I worry about my body. Some days I feel super hot and sexy while somedays I feel terrible about certain parts of my body, and half the time it's just in my head. This is a problem and I want to talk about it.
I believe I am not alone in this,right, ladies and gents đŤ. I grew up in a community where people feel the need to comment on any part of your body. I remember instances where aunties or uncles will comment about my skin tone for example. They they would say something like "add this and that to the body lotion, so you can tone their skin". These were the kind of things my mom would be told to do.
The skin tone comments didn't stop and luckily melanin started to get traction and more people started embracing themselves. Unfortunately some have falling into such comments that they do all sorts of chemical manipulation on their skin to make it look lighter and "desirable".
Weight was another topic. "You are skinny o, eat more" "you think you will be Pettie forever, wait till you have kids" "You are getting bigger o"
All sorts of comments. My immediate younger sister I think had it worse cause she is really pettie and the comments won't stop. People do not realising what such comments does to one's psyche.
I have had man say to me "if you had a little more ass you either look so hot" everyone going on and on and on. I would typically curse you out when you say such to me but then you will be called rude, but do I care, no đđ.
The pressure never stops especially now in this social media era. Every post is about ideal figure, sliming products, BBL everything "body perfection". I am all for self improvement. It's one thing to do it for you, it's another thing to do it for societal approval. Let's not forget the "he/she looks good for a 50 year old" now you always want to make sure you look good based on what scale? Ageing is part of life.
It gets so bad that I can randomly comment about my body feature that I am unhappy with in a random conversation just so they don't point it out. It's just an exhausting place to be at. Then the other questions are why does it bother me so much? What people think? Men won't find me attractive? My partner will think I let myself go? I want to prove aunties and exes wrong that I will maintain my stature forever? Anxiety of not snapping back in 2mins after giving birth?These are the questions I ask myself. What part of me is so bothered by this, and what is the root cause. How do i unlearn it. Still working on thatđŤ đŤ .
I am actively learning that my body will change as I age. I can do what I feel I need to do for me to feel good, healthy and comfortable in this body. But it has to be for me, just me.
I wish everyone who experiences this well. I hope you learn not to put so much pressure on yourself. Make sure all you do in this regard is for and not about what people think. You are beautiful/handsome just the way you are. Be kind to yourself, enjoy your body at every stage as it morphs đđĽ°đ¸.
Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below. It might be encouraging to others to know they are not alone.
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Have a wonderful weekend đ¸
With Love,
Ăyètola
We donât talk about this much as well but Iâve been criticised my whole life about how tiny or skinny I am, the âyou should gain some weightâ âwhat will your man hold?â âAre you losing weightâ and this both from man & woman but mostly women who themselves are trying to lose weightđ¤Śđ˝ââď¸ Iâve gained a significant amount of weight since varsity but I still get people who tell me to gain weight. I donât understand why we should be commenting on peopleâs weight to even begin with
Iâm currently struggling with this. The comments of how much weight I have gained are too much that I dread going home because my aunties (best friends) will not miss the opportunity to let me know how much weight Iâve gained and how much Iâm ROTTING. I was told as I was growing up that I wouldnât be Pettit forever, âi should wait until I have a child and Iâll see how my body will lose it shape, how Iâll gain too much weight when I start workingâ and now itâs heređ I try to pull a brave face in public but deep down I loath eating because I know Iâm adding on to this weight. I have gotten a personalâŚ
I can totally relate to this post I used to be very Sad about my skin tone, growing up it lowkey felt like I was unattractive because of it however I got to varsity and realized that there are more people more especially women who look just like me! Being a child of an immigrant youâre not sure where you fit in but Iâm grateful to have found my tribe âĽď¸. One thing about body dysmorphia is that it doesnât discriminate and itâs easier said than done telling someone to love themselves more